“He was still wearing most of it when he fell asleep. Dean’s sleeping too, the two of them in the bed.” - from John’s journal
Dean has a month left before the hell hounds come calling. For days now, he’s been having the same nightmare. He’s tossing and turning in his sleep, grunting, gasping for air, and Sam has the burden of hearing his brother cry out for him, almost every night. One night, instead of waking him up and getting him a cold bottle of water, Sam slips into the bed with Dean, wraps his monster arms around his older brother and lulls him back to sleep. Dean is nonthewiser until the next morning in which he promptly freaks out and starts being all ‘macho’. Sam ignores him and slips in his bed again, and again, and again until…. something happens between them. -Prompt from Sammysnipples
It was the third week of Dean’s nightmare, it’s been recurring, making his rest piss-poor, and making me worry. Normally I’d get him water and gently wake him up, but recently I’d silently and quietly get into bed with him and draw him close.
The way he’d do for me when those nightmares with Jess were happening, like he’d do when we were kids. I’m just returning the favor and really it’s nice to be close to Dean again.
I was sitting on the edge of my bed, going through Dad’s journal for what could almost literally be the millionth time, and I heard a whimper.
The whimper of pain, a quiet sound. Like Dean, even in sleep, was trying to make like everything was ok and be all macho bravado.
I looked up to see him toss, and turn. The occasional,
But this time I hear, “Can’t leave Sam, gotta watch out for Sammy!” I see tears on my brothers face and I can’t take it anymore. I get into bed with him and wrap my arms around him and draw him close to me. He stills and sighs and I close my eyes content to have put him at ease. I fall asleep listening to his steady rhythm-like breathing.
"Sam what the HELL?!" Dean erupts in shock and what sounds like anger. I jump out my sleep like cold water’s been thrown on me, no literally I jump and fall onto the floor.
Dean’s sat up with his hair messy, tangled about in the blanket, and he’s confused and irate.
"The hell you doing in bed with me Sam?"
"You had a bad dream and couldn’t sleep, it shut you up." I respond rather shortly, I almost had Dean back, and he yanked himself away again. I had since got up and sat back on my bed, and start buttoning up my shirt. He got out of bed, boxer clad, and headed to the bathroom. I didn’t even think, I just watched, and had the few nasty thoughts about Dean that no brother should ever have.
I continued to console him in the night.
The next time he caught me, was maybe 2 weeks later. We came in from a job, simple salt and burn. Of course if we ever made it out of a hunt not bloody and banged up I’d eat my damn shirt. Dean had banged up his shoulder pretty good, and I had a gash across my face.
It was rock, paper, scissors for the shower first. Dean always with the scissors. So I got it first and enjoyed the hot water. It took away stiffness and let me think. I exited the bathroom wrapped in a towel.
"It’s yours dude."
Pretended I didn’t notice Deans eyes take me in, up and down.
I go ahead and dress and get into bed, and pass out, I was tired.
Dean must have followed suit, but I was woke up by his dreaming.
"NO!" Dean yelled, with such pain and anguish that was in his voice that I threw all caution to the wind.
Simply gathered him in my arms, and drew him close. His breathing was erratic and his face was wet with shed tears. I pressed my lips to his hair.
"You’re ok Dean, you’re ok." I murmured quietly, running my hand up and down his back to soothe.
I heard a sniffle. My big brother, big badass Dean Winchester sniffled.
He was awake, he looked at me with his eyes wet and scared. He shook his head and said in a small voice;
"Sammy, I can’t leave you behind. I’m scared Sam, I don’t wanna go." I’d seen my brother tear up, and I’d seen tears fall. But you could have never made me believe I’d have my big brother legitimately sobbing in my arms.
I blinked back hot tears, and swallowed the lump in my throat.
"We’re gonna fix it Dean, we’re gonna fix it." My voice was thick and my throat was tight. My chest ached because god knew I’d nearly researched until my eyes bled trying to save him.
Felt him shake with a silent body wrenching sob, and I just tightened my hold.
It happened in a split second. He looked at me square in the eyes, and every so faintly pressed his lips to mine.
It was a persons first kiss all over again, it was our eyes being opened, it was my heart shattering because I knew it wouldn’t last. So I reveled in its here and now.
My had instinctively came round to the back of his head and he deepened the kiss.
I could taste his tears, and in the meantime mine had started to fall.
Every thought I’d ever harbored like this came to mind, crystal clear.
Dean pulled back and looked at me, hundreds of emotions crossed his face. I just waited.
He threw his arms around me, surprising me, and I returned his hug.
"I love you Sam. We’re gonna fix it and it’s gonna be ok. Yeah the cuddling thing is weird, I’m a man of passion, ok? But we’re gonna fix it." He pulls away a hand on either shoulder, looking at me with intensity.
"Cause when it’s fixed baby boy, oh the things I am gonna do to you."